BREAKING UPDATES <<< PLANE CRASHES IN ANDROS...Tommy T hires PR firm on his tarnished national image

5
2047

UPDATE REPORT on PLANE CRASH IN ANDROS: Bahamas Press is reporting a crash landing of an aircraft in the Andros area today.

The single pilot passenger, who was on board the plane, survived the crash. The man’s nationality or condition is still unknown. We can confirm his aircraft is registered to the United States and shortly following impact exploded.

The pilot we again say survived the crash.

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Tommy T. hires PR firm to work on his public image

Tommy Turnquest, Minister of National Security.

Breaking News <<< Bahamas Press has learnt Tommy Turnquest has brought in a team of image consultants to improve his national image. We are told the spiraling crime problem and the pending defeat in Mt. Moriah has forced the embattled minister to seek professional help.

We gat news for him, he should save the money. ONLY DIVINE INTERVENTION COULD ASSIST TOMMY T NOW!

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NATIONAL DEVELOPMENT PARTY (NDP)
PRESS CONFERENCE: IMMIGRATION HEADQUARTERS
TOPIC: JULY 1, 2011 REMARKS BY MR. JACK THOMPSON

July 4th, 2011

The July 1, 2011 edition of The Nassau Guardian carried remarks by Mr. Jack Thompson, Director of Immigration, that we find offensive, incendiary and shocking. Mr. Thompson’s partial retraction of his comments is inadequate.

Mr. Thompson is reported to have told a group of teachers that the Department of Immigration and the Department of Education need to “flush out and unclog the system (education system) because there is a lot of concern”. Whether it was intentional or not, and frankly we are inclined to believe it was unintentional, Mr. Thompson’s words evoked images of plumbing in the most unsanitary way. That is clearly improper.

Moreover, unlike Mr. Thompson, the NDP believes that children should be allowed into our schools even if their parents are in The Bahamas illegally. We do not agree with the suggestion that keeping children out of the school system will increase the likelihood that they and their parents will be deported. If the increased likelihood of deportation is not the outcome, the only result would be a reduction in the cost to educate such children today while paying greatly for their low productivity and deviant behaviour in the future.

No doubt a significant percentage of teachers and administrators to whom Mr. Thompson spoke are themselves of Haitian descent. Indeed, children of Haitians who are/were in The Bahamas illegally contribute substantially to our country in the areas of medicine, education, finance, public service, law enforcement, including immigration and other areas as well. Haitians and their descendents are unalterably interwoven into Bahamian society and we must acknowledge that reality while allowing people with Haitian ancestry to express their heritage openly.

It would be improper to not acknowledge Mr. Thompson’s many fine achievements since becoming head of the Department of Immigration. Those include: 1. increased effort to root out corrupt officers; 2. improved processing time for work permits; 3. ensuring collection of outstanding permit fees; and 4. increased access to the media. In truth, the recent incident appears to be an aberration on his part. We say that even though we are mindful that his statements were most likely politically directed and motivated.

One of the reasons the NDP decided to comment openly on this matter is because of its potential impact on our society. We believe it would be a tragedy if illegal Haitian parents keep their children home when school reopens. We strongly urge the Deputy Prime Minister to clarify the Government’s position as it serves no one to consign the children of illegal immigrants to a life of crime and perpetual marginalization. Further, we urge the Government to engage leaders in the Haitian community to get the word out that the Government has no plans to keep children out of school and will not use children as pawns to get to their parents.

The evidence is clear that deportation while ordinarily necessary is ineffective. We believe greater effort must take place in trying to prevent illegal immigrants from entering our borders. We offer 3 suggestions. Firstly, we should deploy radar technology and an infra red buoy system to detect wooden and rubber vessels. Secondly, more Defense Force resources should be used. Thirdly, well organized intelligence gathering network should be established on the ground in Haiti.We also suggest that there are opportunities for economic engagement with Haiti that are under-exploited.

Teachers and education administrators must not be called upon to be immigration officers. They have their hands full already. And children who have a constitutional right to some day receive citizenship upon application should be allowed to go to school without feeling pressured and looking over their shoulders.

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FNM TORCHBEARERS President URGE Bahamians to REGISTER!!!

Jamal Moss

Torchbearers President calls on the youth to register to vote. I call on you my fellow young Bahamians to prepare yourself, it is important now more than ever for you to register to vote.You WILL decide who represent you and your country. As I normally say turn your back on voting is like turning your back on your future! Go register today!

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SMUDGY PUDGY Pillsbury Doughboy snubbed by PAPA

Charles Maynard

The Smudgy Pudgy Pillsbury Doughboy was made a public spectacle and embarrassed in the Parliament today as Prime Minister Rt. Hon. Hubert Ingraham interrupted without notice his contribution and suspended the House until Wednesday.

Charles Maynard had stood on the floor to begin debate on the Sports Authority Bill. As be begin to speak to the matter, Papa rudely interrupted him like a man urged to use the bathroom and called for the immediate suspension of the Parliament.

The Parliament’s Pillsbury looked puzzled. He appeared as if someone had taken candy from him as he sat back into his chair like a bag of dough.

Fred Mitchell laughed himself into a frenzy as Papa scolded the young Pillsbury. Look what Dud’s son has come to, even after brown nosing Papa all last week; suggesting Papa was the best thing since sliced bread.

Just last week Papa snubbed Vernae Da Village Idiot Grant as he denied her an opportunity for a side meeting in the Smoker’s Room.

5 COMMENTS

  1. Back to the 1980’s?

    I am to the point of banding all motorbikes off our street.
    You would remember back in the 1980 men feared riding motorbikes, disturbed our communities. It is a very easy problem to solve with the “Clothesline” buoy trap setup across the Island.
    Bikers …LET YOU FORGET BEWARE!

    • Wisdom I second that!!! they are a harzard, dangerous toys and serves no real purpose!I wish the police could give out some tire spike strips so that you could put them accross the road when you see them coming!!

  2. Oh Tommy, Tommy, Tommy, your wasting your monies, cheaper you give it to those ladies at Woodlawn Garden, who got bruised up from those robbers for y’all monies. Your chances are just hopeless.

  3. Papa’s nerves on him bad , these days. He isn’t stupid, he realize the election close and people mad with the FNM, he trying to figure out how he will smooth things over with the Bahamian people, so they could win the next election. The roads all dug up, businesses shutting down, high unemployment rate and crime completely out of control. Everything upside down in the country and he only has a limited time to try to impress and regain the Bahamian people’s faith in the FNM again. He has his hands full and Vernae worrying about herself and her predicament, you think he have time to listen to her whining right now? Trust me, he already know what she wants to say, but this his way of telling her, he is not on her run. Pillsbury Dough Boy know he was walking a fine line from he debated the wrong bill in the house the other day, he know Papa don’t let you off the hook that easy and he was pissed with him from then. As long as these two ministers been around Papa, you would think they would know how he go, so why they acting like his rude behaviour caught them off guard? They must be like acting surprised aye? If they don’t want their feelings hurt, they better keep out Papa’s way right now, they no he don’t have no time to be petting nobody up, especially how he already don’t have no compassion on the top of that.

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