Charles “Pillsbury Doughboy” Maynard is a Big Fat Stupid Idiot

Nassau, Bahamas — We here at Bahamas Press were quite amused to see the coverage we got from the “Wutless Toilet Paper”, the Tribune this morning. That lousy paper refused to call our names but everybody and their Granny has now read the story on Bahamas Press concerning the “Pillsbury Dough Boy” Charles Maynard and his foray to South Africa.

Charlie is a dumb person and a stupid Politician. According to the rules of engagement in Politics, you do not spread propaganda on yourself. He ought to know that he has created more interest in this story by going to the Tribune. While they refused to call our name, our hit count has gone through the roof. It is the nature of Bahamians to be curious. So we want to say thanks to Charlie for the free publicity.

We now answer the Toilet Paper, we can truly say that we “Swear to the Dogmas of no Master”, can you do that?. That paper has been schilling for the FNM from the inception of that party. So it was no surprise that Charlie ran to them for relief. We are not a sponsored site nor do we depend on ads to survive. We support both FNM and PLPS of our choosing. We happen to support Brave Davis as well as Bran McCartney, Desmond Bannister, Dr. Hubert Minnis, Larry Cartwright, Michael Halkitis, Kenyatta Gibson and Hope Strachan.

We have now unleashed 12 Field Marshals on the ground in Golden Isles and we urge all of our readers in that area to register to vote today to get rid of this Mongrel, Charles Maynard whenever elections are held. He is unfit to serve in the Cabinet of this Country and only a person with a similar Reprobate Mind would appoint him to such an office.

We have not attacked your wife Charlie, in fact we feel sorry for her and what she has to put up with. You talk about internet laws, you should persuade your Government to pass the Freedom of Information Act that you bragged about during the 2007  campaign and is listed in your Manifesto. That is what is needed, this is not North Korea, you cannot censure the World Wide Web, grow up and stop being a Papa’s boy. You have now joined the ranks of our enemies that was previously headed by Carl Bethel.

We will now start publishing information that are in our possession from your Ministry. We will start with all of those so called Consultants. What does Desmond Edwards do for that Ministry? Is he engaged as a Consultant and if so what are his terms of reference? Has he ever been in the building? We will wait to see if you run back to the Tribune before we start our investigations in earnest. Be warned, the gauntlet has been cast, the ax is laid at the foot of the tree and the Woodsman Cometh!