I am a young woman who recently graduated from a high school located in Southern New Providence.
I have recently met this cool young guy. We have been regularly seeing each other. Just this week though me and him were out at Fish Fry during the Independence celebrations when out of nowhere came one of his ex-lovers; screaming to the top of her voice – “You better leave my F***in man before I F*** the two of yall up.” I felt so ashamed and embarrassed. And it caused me to wonder – am I just another number?
I am unemployed. Without any funds to attend college and following this recent incident I have felt betrayed already – what do you think I should do? I am young and believe I cannot do without this dude.
Dear KK: Now more than ever before in your life this is the best time for you to begin reassessing your life choices. And while many live in the present, the prism into the future must be where you must lend more of your focus. And here’s what we mean:
You are unemployed; therefore reliant of someone to take care of your present needs [Financial and otherwise] without any sought of commitment into the future. Perhaps if the present relationship doesn’t work, then just maybe, you have gotten a taste of where you would be into the future; walking up on that same friend at Fish Fry; clashing with his new lover; and screaming for child support…
Our advise: Look into the prism of your future and set realistic and achievable goals. Find a job to begin establishing yourself independently. Make WISE choices eg: If you are unemployed and dependent on an unstable relationship now – what would you do when a child comes along and perhaps no means of income to feed yourself and the child? If you choose to remain in the relationship perhaps it is time to get to know the family – they would know him better then he knows himself. Listen to what your own people say to you about your friend and take heed. And more importantly, do not get any deeper than you are now – especially if your gut tells you something is wrong here. Listen to your heart and not your feelings; for, from the heart comes the truth.
If this is what you want and desire then fine. But if it not – start looking out for you.
For, only God can love a person more than oneself…
Write to Dear BP at firstname.lastname@example.org, email@example.com or via Facebook @Alexander James