News Man Goes Ballistic in Fender Bender

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Jerome Sawyer
Jerome Sawyer

Nassau, Bahamas – Bahamas Press (BP) was cruising out West today when we saw News Man, Jerome Sawyer, standing on the side of the road beside his new brand, black, shiny BMW with his hands on his head. 

BP turned around and passed back to check out the scene thoroughly. As BP made its second approach, we could smell the “new car smell” of the car a mile away. It would appear that an old mack truck ran into the rear of Sawyer’s BMW leaving the vehicle severely damaged and its owner livid. 

As BP made its shark type and sly up close observation, we could hear the news man cursing the driver of the truck, telling him how much his BMW cost and how new it was. BP went up the road and turned around yet again and approached the scene a third time in sunglasses and a cap. This time when we approached, two colourful characters joined Sawyer in his outrage about his damaged car and attempted to assault the driver of the mack truck who seemed to be nervous and at fault. 

BP parked at a beach close by and watched the event unfold. In the nick of time, the police arrived on the scene and restrained Sawyer and his crew preventing them from putting a “cut arse” on the poor driver of the mack truck which was loaded with sod grass.  The police laid down the law and the angry crew calmed down.

While thinking back, BP came to the conclusion that it would appear Sawyer is quite accident prone. He was known, while at ZNS, to show up to work with his various vehicles over the years, mashed up and then next day he would show up to work with them magically fixed.  

Sawyer was also involved in a shoot out once when his usual Friday night frolics ended up with him being chased by gun men with police in tow. Sawyer led the criminals and law enforcement officers, with sirens ablaze, on an almost island wide chase before it ended on West Bay Street and criminals were arrested. Sawyer defied the laws of robbery and refused to give in to his assailants. The famed news man is also fearless. 

The driver of that mack truck better fix that BMW quick or else Sawyer and his colorful characters might come back to haunt him. 

What in da hell is dis?

We report! Yinna decide!!