Saturday, June 20, 2015 will set the stage for the Prince Hall Grand Lodge’s annual Grand Sessions. This is not just any old Grand Session though, this year Grand Master, Sandford Culmer and his biggety, Puppet Master/Ventriloquist cousin, Carl Culmer, will vacate office and be GONE WITH THE WIND like Scarlet O’Hara and her lover, Rhett Butler.
ITS PRINCE HALL ELECTION YEAR!!! Stupid, silly season!! The season will be finished and the deal will be sealed on or before Tuesday, June 23, 2015. A new Grand Master will arrive in Prince Hall Masonic Paradise and a new era will begin. Well at least that’s what the desperate brothers are hopeful of. They have been in the land of famine for about four years – thirsty and malnourished. They hope now for manna from heaven with a new Grand Master in place.
King White Beard, Lesley Dean, is set to move up the ladder as Grand Master with Cowboy X, banker, Kendrick Brathwaite as his deputy. Shouts of excitement should not be heard quite yet as both men are said to have two of the lodge’s sisters pregnant. Brothers and sisters were kicked out of Prince Hall for sweethearting but married men bigging up sisters is of no problem to this hypocritical Order.
BP has been camped out in school uniform over at a nearby high school watching the Prince Hall building with night vision goggles and a telescope. No cold drinks are allowed over there but the sacrifice must be made to see what is gong on in that Masonic building. BP has seen brothers from all over the place hauling azz up the stairs to register for the Grand Lodge Sessions. Could it be that they want to see the dark horse ride in and shut down the Sessions and take charge of the lodge. As a matter of fact, BP has learned there are so many plots to take over the Grand Lodge all brothers are registering to see how it will pan out.
BP has learned of at least 3 dark horses set to ride in and attempt to overthrow what should be a smooth transition. In fact, BP heard Carl Culmer is the chief plotter set to stab his adviser, Kendrick Braithwaite, in the back with a knife and twist it until compass and squares come gushing out. BP knows too that senior Masons from the Family Islands have had enough of the down turn of their Order and plan to step in and make a serious statement at this year’s election Grand Sessions.
Through a pair of binoculars BP could not help but see the Prince of all Thieves, Rabbie “Da Tief” Urine Johnson in the parking lot leaning against his beaten up truck, taking a long, deep, and enjoyable scratch at his infected crotch while laughing at the thought of the plots to take over. How this man remains in Prince Hall after committing all manner of ills is a mystery to BP. He is a thief, a sperm splatterer and a woman user. Ten children and not one wife. BP has learned that he has sweet talked and made up with his last baby mama. So the sister from the bank better watch out.
Speaking of sweet talking etc, BP was passing Prince Hall Lodge a few weeks ago and slowed down as there was a function going on at the lodge. BP became disinterested when BP noticed how small the drinks cooler was and was going to pass on by when BP heard loud screams coming from the parking lot. It was the biggety, bossy journalist in the face of her love sick worshipful master telling him about his azz. She was angry while the love sick one was quietly explaining his life away. She was not letting up but BP could not hear what she was saying. We have to investigate that.
BP understands that Dean along with the Dark Horses have been promising plenty things to the brothers to vote for them and support them otherwise. Some long, forgotten souls are being queued up to bounce into place with new promised positions once the candidate or dark horse of their choice wins the seat.
So let’s sit back and watch. This is going to be indeed a DRAMATIC GRAND time and BP will be right in the midst taking notes to report to you instantaneously.
We Report! Yinner Decide!
So Mote it Be!.