Nassau, Bahamas — Like the firing of a military cannon, your Bahamas Press has another explosive BREAKING STORY for you on this first day of the New Year.
Breaking news now shattering our newsroom confirm Dr. Dwane Sands, that ARROGANT first cousin of Tommy Turnquest, will be the FNM’s candidate for the Elizabeth constituency in the upcoming by-election.
We’ve also learned, come this Wednesday, Malcolm Adderley will communicate his intent to resign from his PLP seat to the Speaker of the House of Assembly, Alvin Smith, to take up a judgeship offered to him by Hubert Ingraham. Malcolm will be sworn in a week after he relinquishes his seat as the MP for Elizabeth. The move by the SELFISH PLP TURNCOAT will throw the country into an election mode.
Meanwhile, the late again PLP brigade intends to censure Adderley for his failing to come clean with the party’s leadership on his deal with Ingraham. We warned the PLP since December 2007 that Adderley’s decision to remain Chairman of the Gaming Board would come home to hurt the Party and further tailspin the organization into chaos. They never heeded our advice.
BP has learned Sands was greeted with the news just hours ago and has been ordered by Party Leader, Rt. Hon. Hubert Ingraham, to join the ground team already in motion headed by Carl ‘UNDERNOURSHIED’ Bethel.
The FMN source told BP, “Sands was selected because he has the independent wealth to finance his own campaign added to the money machine of the FNM on standby ready to match.”
Sands will spend, we understand, more than half-a-million dollars of his own funds to secure the seat for the FNM. Money we know, gathered off the backs of the poor sick people in the country. Sands, you would also remember was the same shady FNM goon, who rejected the call for a National Health Insurance Plan to benefit those very poor sick people of Elizabeth, who he now seeks to represent. WE CRY SHAME!
Bahamas Press will now endorse BRADLEY ROBERTS and call on him to come WHOLESALE out of POLITICAL RETIREMENT and deliver a ROYAL CUT–YOU–KNOW–WHAT on Sands and the MUGABE DRIVEN FNM! We would have to endorse His Excellency Joshua Sears had the FNM choose to run him. Instead, we will throw the full weight of Bahamas Press behind the candidacy of Bradley Roberts as the PLP standard bearer in the constituency.
We also call on all young persons attaining the age of 18 since 2007 to register to vote! Shortly following Malcolm’s resignation on Wednesday, Ingraham will prorogue Parliament.
Our sources on the ground in Elizabeth tell us, “MALCOLM ADDERLEY was the worse MP to grace the hallowed and august halls of Parliament, and we cannot wait to see the back of him! He should have carried his WUTLESS ARSE LONG TIME! This Christmas pass we have not heard a word from our MP. He’s not even spoken to his Chairman for two years, and we have not heard boo from him. He needs to go now!”
Sources on the ground of Elizabeth added, “We need someone like the Hon. Bradley Roberts who knows how to represent people. Roberts says what we can’t for ourselves.”
Persons in the Adderley camp has informed BP that Adderley will come out of hiding on Sunday and inform Christie of his intentions.
It Ain’t LONG ‘NAH’! And the People of Elizabeth will soon see CHANGE!